Sex and the City: The Pendulum of Acceptance and Empowerment

Last year I binged the entire Sex and the City series and recently I have been rewatching episodes here and there. Rewatching the show has caused me to question it and closely analyze it. I have noticed that when I watch the show I have a range of conflicting opinions. Sometimes I feel like “yay feminism!” and other times I cringe at the offensive conversations or comments. In the show’s defense, it did air from 1998-2004, so dated conversations are to be expected. The show seems to attempt to make up for this in its reboot And Just Like That. An immense effort seems to be made to create the most woke and inclusive storyline and script it could. For instance, Miranda questions her sexuality, Charlotte’s daughter struggles with her gender identity, and it includes a more racially diverse cast. While Sex and the City includes inappropriate comments and lacks a diverse cast, the show was fresh and revolutionary and pushed forward important conversations around sexuality and gender roles. I can only imagine that when it first came out women were excited to have a show about them and for them. Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte weren’t the leading mans' girlfriends, but four successful, independent women.

Reflecting upon the constant pendulum of acceptance and empowerment in Sex and the City I began to notice that while the offensive segments create an exclusive environment for certain people, it does draw attention to certain topics. In the late 1900s and early 2000s, I doubt many people were having any sort of conversation about sexuality while Sex and the City certainly was. It made me wonder: was it hip for Sex and the City to even dare to bring up these topics or was the way they did it simply discriminatory? It certainly wasn’t hip and it was quite discriminatory, but it was radical and drew attention to topics such as sexuality and race.

For instance, in season four Samantha begins dating a woman. Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda respond by making fun of her and comparing her change in sexuality to as if she is saying she’s a fire hydrant. Samantha is teased and shamed for her sexual fluidity. While her friend’s reactions lack inclusivity around sexuality, Samantha’s openness about her sexual fluidity could be considered forward-thinking and inclusive. People struggling with their sexuality and having a shift in their sexual preferences could relate to Samantha and see that they aren’t alone. Could Carrie’s, Charlotte’s, and Miranda’s reactions then be simply shining a light on people’s inability to accept the LGBTQ+ community? It could be, but I doubt that was the intention. In reality, I feel the show struggles to properly discuss, support, and include the LGBTQ+ community.

The show seems to struggle with this conversation in other episodes as well. In one episode Samantha gets in a disagreement with the sex workers who loudly work outside her window. Throughout the episode, Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte allude to the sex workers being transgender in an inappropriate manner, they make jokes about them and use derogatory terms. While the episode ends with a scene of the sex workers and the four women happily together at a rooftop party, the women still slip jokes in about the sex worker’s gender identities. The list does not end there. In another episode, Carrie struggles to accept the fact the man she is dating identifies as bisexual. She says bisexuality is a “layover on the way to gay town” and Charlotte and Miranda both make statements expressing that people should pick a side and not be “greedy." Throughout the entire relationship, Carrie continuously pesters the man about his sexuality and how she compares to the guys he’s been with. Clearly, Sex and The City didn’t shy away from LGBTQ+ topics but struggles to productively include and talk about them.

Beyond sexual orientation, the show fails to be racially inclusive as well. Most noteworthy is the fact the main characters are all white. When people of color are included in the show, it is only as short-lived side characters. The show unsuccessfully represents topics around race as well. In one episode, Samantha dates a black man, top record producer Chivon Wiliams. While at brunch, Samantha makes some inappropriate comments about certain racial stereotypes. Chivon’s sister Adeena also confronts Samantha to tell her she disapproves of her brother dating a white woman. The two argue and say racially charged and insensitive things to one another. The episode’s storyline creates a poor storyline where Adeena is made out to be the closed-minded one and represents interracial relationships badly.

On the other side of the pendulum, Sex and the City discusses many proactive conversations about gender roles and women’s sexuality. These conversations help empower women and question skewed views about them. In season 4, Samantha is told by a business partner that as a businesswoman she needs a man at her side. When Samantha shares this with Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte they all have an empowering conversation about how it's wrong that women are looked down upon as professionals simply because of their gender. Together they share ways they are treated differently in their workplaces because of their gender. This conversation makes women watching not feel alone if they have experienced this themselves and demonstrates the struggles and discrimination women face in the workforce.

Sex and the City also acts as a symbol of sexual liberation for women. For as long as people can remember, women have been sexually misused and overly sexualized by men but not allowed their own sexual freedom, choices, and identity. Sex and the City is a show about women talking about and having sex. The show covers successful New York women navigating their sex life. When Sex and the City came out it was certainly a revolutionary storyline. Women being depicted as single, having successful careers, and confidently discussing their sex lives was uncommon and new. It made women see that they are in charge of their lives and sexuality. Sex and the City confronts sexist perceptions about women as well. For instance, the show brings up the question: why are women sluts if they have sex lives but men are idolized for doing so? It works to remove sexual shame from women’s lives and ask important questions about why women are held to double standards.

While Sex and the City clearly fails to be fully inclusive and politically correct, I must applaud it for its bravery in including storylines that were uncommon for its time. Even today society fails to properly talk about sexuality and gender. As long as we can look back at Sex and the City and acknowledge where it went wrong, I think good can be taken from the show, whether that be simply being entertained, female liberation, or productively questioning the way they discuss certain topics. Constructive conversations can certainly come from looking at both sides of Sex and the City’s swinging pendulum of acceptance and empowerment.